MS to LM 9th April 1997

Dear LM

What a delight to get a personal letter from you. Do hope you can find time to slip down and see us sometime. Enjoyed the brief chat with your husband too and hope we'll meet up again.

We were over with Alan and Doreen on Monday/Tuesday - we old folks have time to get together! Showed Al your letter when we were chatting and he liked it too. He was impressed by Dave B's 'virtual reality' image, which had not reached his corner of the cave yet.

You ask me about the 'elusive' nature of a continual realisation about Grace being the root, stem, branch, leaves and fruit (my analogy) of everything. I am not much good at answering questions and tend to answer by way of a story that lasts for hours! (Beware if you come down.)

I can say I thought your understanding of how feelings of religious guilt become part of our personality was very intelligent. I do know that I have always felt the Catholics are right when they say, 'Give us a child for the first seven years and you can do what you like then' sort of thing. The same seems true of our (stand by for religious swear words!) first awareness of God, especially if that has been by way of evangelical and/or fundamentalist contacts (for seven years?). We are given God-Plus from the very start and it does seem extremely difficult to escape such law. And quite easy to become 'entangled again' as well.

I don't understand it, but with such folk suffering seems to play a part very often. I won't enlarge upon this for I shall get into theory: I just state an observed fact. Of course the glimpse you experience is the reality, and somehow we have to learn to trust that even when the glimpse has gone. We cannot walk by sight. This appears dangerously near to the infamous 'name it and claim it' nonsense, but actually it is a thousand miles distant. I'd rather talk about this than write, for I sense, I could be on the verge of pages of explanation. I prefer to drip-on verbally not in writing - although I make a good attempt at the latter sometimes, I am aware.

Thankfully when the 'old feelings persist!' (as you say), I know they are only feelings and ignore them, even if feeling ghastly. And I have learned to tell the parrot sitting on my shoulder quoting legalism in my ear that he must shut up. He hasn't been around for years now, so maybe he got offended?

Certainly we cannot of 'our own will' cause the sense of Grace to reappear. Perhaps because it (He) has never actually gone away! Once we accept we are perfectly alright where we are (seemingly the wilderness), we find we are actually in (the Promised Land) a place of rest.

'Scuse the religious analogies, it is how I think after so many years (but that's OK - everything is!). Once we stop chasing the butterfly round the garden it may well land on our shoulder* - it certainly won't while we run. So many TRY to give up. Oh how many folk I have had to tell over and over and over again that they will eventually have to give up Giving Up and just BE. But like me, most cannot enter into real rest until they have exhausted themselves trying to do so.

I am beginning to go on and on, and I mustn't TRY to make you see it for once and for all, but I am sure the penny has really dropped and you will soon stop trying to bang the side of the machine and just wait for the chocolate to appear.

Loads of love to you. Nice to have you young ones around; enjoy your studies, I hated it, but then I was always at the bottom of the class.

From Eileen and me - affectionately.

Give love to… too please.

Maurice

PS No doubt the Trogs will have something to add below. I sent a copy with your letter around the guild. Thanks for allowing circulation.

Two excellent letters - wish I'd seen Dave's original letter! AH <-----Just arrived!

As Maurice says in his unique style, I have found a similar experience. There is a freedom & peace which emerges once a point of acceptance of 'things-as-they-are' is tripped over, bumped into, surprisingly encountered. Also this point of acceptance tends to present itself unexpectedly. DB

Wish I had seen Dave's article it hasn't flown this way yet.
Perhaps I was so damaged by religion that I have thrown out the baby with the bath water, wouldn't know where to start in bible reading as 'fear' takes over. I know there is God, but anything else?? However I do sleep at night, feel more peaceful than ever, and if I need to know more I can't believe an all knowing God is going to leave me and yet!! I also do not have the certainty of 'heaven' and feel sure there's no after life 'Hell'. SA

Sadly, the 'virtual reality' letter seems to have been lost - Editor