No smoking

The alien appeared at the kitchen door as she was about to sit down to a nice drop of tea. It didn't knock just threw the door back and walked in, It was her height but more oval shaped and Its arms seemed to appear from somewhere behind Its back as did Its three legs, though the middle leg was further forward. Its head was shaped like a rugby ball. It had four eyes at the front and one on a stalk sticking up over what should have been Its left ear, when It spoke the sound came out on either side of Its head.

She asked It if It wanted a cup of tea, It seemed to consider this then suddenly shouted she must obey his commands or It would smoke her. She guessed from this that It was arrogant and male.

He pointed through the kitchen window at the paddock 'open them' he said. She looked out, he meant the hives. She tried to explain but he thundered at her in stereo to 'do as I ask or you will be smoked'

They went into the paddock and she slowly removed the top off the first hive, too slowly though, for he suddenly thrust her aside and told her to go. In the kitchen she watched as he clumsily removed the tops off the other hives, then she raced around her cottage shutting fast every window.

By the time she got back to the kitchen it was almost over, the alien was flat on his back making loud popping noises under a cloud of angry bees.

Some time later when things had settled down she crept out, knelt down by the alien and poked him with a twig; he opened one of his eyes. She asked him where it hurt 'I have failed' he replied, in mono. Then he told her to move away. She stepped back watching as he slowly dissolved into a wisp of smoke and drifted away over the hives.

Later that week she was shelling peas when her little grandson ran into the kitchen 'Grandma' he shouted 'there's a big grey thing sinking in the bog by the copse' She tutted at him and said 'never you mind about that, these peas are nearly done and your tea will be ready in ten minutes. You go wash those hands right now and what have I told you about staying away from that dirty old bog'…